This was mailed to me by Mr. D70s.
I have read it before. Now, I'd like to immortalize it in my blog.
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, so you
give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State
takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State
takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State
takes both and shoots you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two
cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
MALAYSIAN BUMIPUTRAISM:
You have two
cows, the State takes one and gives it
to your bumiputra neighbour. From the
milk you sell from the remaining cow
you buy a bull and mulitply your herd.
The State take 30 per cent of your
herd as it grows and give them to your
bumiputra neigbour. Your bumiputra
neighbour has a kenduri each time they
receive a cow.
UMNOPUTRAISM :
The State takes 30 per
cent of your herd and parks them in
Switzerland in the name of some UMNO
official or close relatives, friends
and sons-in-law.
MALAYSIAN GOVERNMENT LINKED OR
BUMIPUTRA CORPORATION :
You have two
cows. You employ mainly bumiputras to
milk them. But both cows have been
sent to the kenduri, so the State
gives you more cows and write off the
losses of the first two. After several
kenduris later, you invite an American
or German Corporation to turnaround
the losses. The Japanese have however
already taken their two original cows
back home to Japan .
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four
cows.Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two
cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-
law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for
five cows. The milk rights of the six
cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to
all seven cows back to your listed
company. The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Sell one cow to
buy a new president of the United
States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You go on strike, organise a
riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create a clever cow cartoon image
called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You re-engineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two
cows, but you don't know where they
are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again
and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows because you're
sobering up and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5,000
cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You have 300 people milking
them. You claim that you have full
employment, and high bovine
productivity, and arrest the newsman
who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. You worship them
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two
cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you
have lots of cows. You tell them that
you have none. No-one believes you, so
they bomb you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least
now you are part of a Democracy....
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